I Miss You – But Not So Much Anymore
by Marla's Lost
Summary: A little conversation with Juliet and Daniel about missing Charlotte - James missing Kate - just a day in the life.....


**I Miss You – But Not So Much Anymore**

The days of time traveling were over and the stress of being "the new kid" with the DHARMA Initiative was starting to wear off. There was a feeling of routine returning to their lives. Miles snarky sense of humor was returning; Jin was still lost and relied heavily on James and Juliet to explain everything to him. Daniel was grieving for Charlotte.

From the outside looking in, it would appear that the new recruits were adjusting normally. Miles loved working in security and developed a new "cop attitude" which just encouraged his image as a bad ass. James struggled to take Head of Security seriously. Really, what kind of problems could there be on an island in the Pacific that was unknown to 99.9% of the world? He spent his free time coaching Jin on English with a hint of Southern drawl.

Juliet learned the ropes of working in the motor pool and rose to the challenge of showing a bunch of slow mechanics that girls can repair cars too. Women's lib still had a ways to go on the island. She wore the DHARMA uniform on the outside, but was still an educated woman on the inside. She just couldn't show it.

Today was overly humid. Juliet rolled out from under the van and wiped the sweat from her eyes with an oil rag. Daniel was sitting on the ground near her tool box, startling her. "Hey." She said, tucking the rag in her back pocket.

Daniel swiped his long hair to the side, "Juliet, I want to ask you something."

She sat down cross-legged from the thin physicist, "Sure Daniel, ask away."

He seemed to fidget and cleared his throat, "When the Kahana came to the island, um. I mean when the helicopter landed on the island Charlotte, Miles and I were not welcome…."

Juliet understood more than anyone about being an 'Other". She nodded and indicated for him to go on. "I was here to do scientific experiments on the special properties of this island. I - we weren't here to hurt anyone – but…" Daniel looked for understanding in Juliets face. "Why did Charlotte have to die?"

Juliet gathered Daniel in her arms and hugged him. There were no words she could say to ease his pain, the warm shoulder of a friend to cry on was all she could give him right now. "I really miss her."

Juliet let him wipe his eyes, "I'm missing someone too" she admitted. "I know how you feel. It's the feeling that you never got to say good bye properly – like that chance was taken away from you." Dan nodded – she did understand.

Juliet wiped his cheek with the clean part of her rag. "Daniel – we've been here, in 1974 for quite awhile now. I know that you loved Charlotte, but you _do_ realize that she won't be the same person you knew for another 30 years." Dan blew his nose into her oil rag and nodded his head. "I know – I don't deal with emotions very well."

Trying to calm him, she said, "Since you know that in the future she is alive; and hasn't died yet maybe-just maybe you can move on with _your_ life... until we catch up _or_ return to 2004." It looked like Dan had trouble wrapping his head around that concept.

Then it was as if he had an epiphany. "I can miss her but I can see her again in the future." Juliet nodded her head thankful he understood her theory.

As if to reassure himself, he repeated, "I miss her but not so much anymore." Daniel stood up and smiled – a little sunshine reentered his life. "I have so much to do. I need to get ready!"

Juliet took his outstretched hand and pulled herself up. "I'm glad I could help you Daniel. If you want to talk, you know where to find me." Dan gave her an impulsive hug and smiled, "You are a good friend Juliet – thanks."

Juliet watched Daniel head towards the barracks and liked to think that the extra bounce in his step was from her good advice. She heard a low voice from behind, "What is that chuckle-head smiling about? I haven't seen him happy about nothing for a while."

Juliet turned and put her hands in her pocket. "He's learning to cope with the death of Charlotte."

James growled, "Just like that."

Juliets eyes sparkled, "Almost like that."

James picked up a wrench. This woman must have the neatest toolbox in the entire motor pool. He put it back down and turned. "Okay, what did ya say to him?"

Juliet pursed her lips. "Why don't you buy me lunch and I'll tell you about it." James never ate lunch with anyone lately. His lunch schedule was always filled in after the crew ate. Sometimes he didn't eat at all. He looked so handsome in his uniform; she should tell him that.

"All right, I'll buy, but it better be a damn good story."

The cafeteria was nearly deserted. The major lunch crowd were stacking their trays and getting in that last chat before going back to work. It was a normal sound. It was comforting.

James looked at the remains of the food in the tubs and felt not so hungry. He looked at the lunch lady, "Give me a scoop of that brown stuff… yeah, and some of those potatoes. What're you having Juliet?"

She looked at the brown stuff and gulped. "I'll just have some Jello." James carried their trays and led the way to a table in the back of the lunch room. He watched as Juliet unfolded her napkin and put it in her lap totally amazed that considering she was wearing a horrible looking jumpsuit, she could still be a lady. He smiled, "Hey, what did Dan the Man want. What wisdom did you impart?"

Juliet frowned, "Don't be mean. He's only feeling lonely and misses Charlotte or the idea of her." James hesitantly put some of the "brown stuff" on his fork. _What was this stuff anyway?_ "So what do you mean the idea of her?"

Juliet smiled and leaned forward. "James, you still miss Kate." She held up her hand to stop the rebuttal. "I _know_ you do. I live with you. It's just a fact."

James chewed the inside of his cheek. How did this woman get so insightful? "Okay, yeah, I miss her. Freckles had some baggage but she was great." James could barely picture Kate's sun kissed face. He did remember she always had great hair and could really fill out a tank top. He cleared his throat. "All right smarty, so you got me again. What is this '_idea of her'_ garbage you're talking about?"

Juliet almost laughed at his expression. He could be the smartest man sometimes but so dumb when it came to girls. She'd have to work with him on that. "James. Think about how sometimes after work, you'll be drinking a beer."

James smiled. "Yeah, that sounds good." _Damn a beer did sound good_.

She chuckled, "Let me finish. You're relaxing, drinking a beer and reminiscing….it's only natural that you are going to think about people or a person that you spent 108 intense days with. You, Jack, Kate… all of you experienced some drama or trauma. James, you jumped out of a helicopter! You sacrificed yourself!"

James looked kind of proud. "Yeah, I jumped but so what? Doc was trying to save everyone; I wanted to be a hero too." _That wasn't really the truth but Juliet doesn't need to know._

Juliet took a bite of her strawberry Jello. "So James, when you think of Kate, what do you miss?"

James furrowed his brow. There were lots of things. Sex. Okay, not just the sex, he slept with Ana Lucia too. There was golf. They played golf. Following Locke – always following Locke. Goddamn, they were always trekking around the jungle. Kate was good at picking up a trail. She was always running to Jack. Jack the knight in shining armor – Jack the Doctor.

Juliet cleared her throat to get James attention. She could see that he was thinking way too much on this topic. He looked up and got caught in her sparkling blue eyes. She had the prettiest eyes; he'd have to tell her about that. "What was the question?"

Juliet laughed. He liked her laugh – it was like a tinkling little fountain. "When you think of Kate, what do you miss?" she repeated slowly.

"Well, she was my friend – she helped me. She cared about me…." _Like she cared about Doc?_ James rubbed his chin. "I don't remember any specifics right now. I'm eating lunch" he looked at his plate, "At least I think this is lunch."

Juliet smiled and covered his hand with hers. "It's okay to not remember everything about someone. Sometimes I find I can't remember details about my own sister."

James looked at Juliets small hand covering his large one. Would Kate have ever sat down and had the patience to explain things to him? No, she was an emotionally charged bundle of nerves always running. Then there was Juliet who listened to him complain about the guys or what crap Horace wanted done or just listen to him talk about anything.

It was a light bulb moment. Oh - the _idea_ of her. Now he got it! When he _remembered_ Kate, it wasn't just a specific remembrance but more like a bunch of memories all twisted together. Knowing it was okay to remember not necessarily all of the details, but rather a fuzzy nice memory made James feel better. It was going to be a good day. He liked how Juliet got her point across without making him feel like an idiot.

James looked at Juliet's pretty face and replied. "I get it. I miss her - but not so much anymore."


End file.
